


making memories in the mayhem

by colourmeblue



Series: you're the light (i want you close) [5]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 00:51:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10978923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colourmeblue/pseuds/colourmeblue
Summary: If Maggie’s being honest, she’s terrified. She knows she shouldn’t be, because the world almost ended and life is too short. She knows that. Hell, she’s even said it to Alex. Compared to the world ending, this should be a piece of cake. Except, she’s been trained to handle dangerous situations, and she’s been in many of them over the years. Nobody has trained her for marrying Alex Danvers. There’s no protocol for her to follow. All she can do is hope she gets it right.(or, some nonsense based on 2x22)





	making memories in the mayhem

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote most of this when we first got the spoilers and finished it after the finale actually aired. It was therapeutic to write, especially since we all know these two deserve more than a thirty second scene that doesn’t consider Maggie’s feelings at all lmao.

To say the past week has been a whirlwind would be an understatement.

Between the world almost ending and being proposed to, Maggie hasn’t exactly had a moment to breathe. Things have been moving fast, much too fast for her liking, and it’s only a matter of time before her emotions catch up to her. She likes to have time to think. To consider. She feels like when she doesn’t, she ends up making the wrong decisions.

It doesn’t take too long for things to settle down again. Alex has been spending a lot of time with Kara, which Maggie doesn’t mind. Often, she doesn’t mind being by herself to process things. Alex hasn’t broken the news of the engagement to Kara yet, and Maggie is thankful. Not only does Kara need something like this shoved in her face right away, but Maggie still needs to wrap her head around the concept herself. Commitment’s difficult. A lesson she’s learned the hard way with various heartbreaks over the years.

Don’t get her wrong, she loves Alex. More than she’s ever loved anyone. However, that doesn’t make this situation any easier to deal with.

It doesn’t take long for Alex to figure out that something’s wrong. Maggie really wishes she couldn’t read her like an open book. Not that it was the right thing to do, but it used to be so much easier to hide things from her. Now, Alex knows all her little quirks. Like when she avoids her gaze when something’s going on, or the certain movements she does with her mouth when she’s trying to keep all of her emotions bottled up inside of her.

Alex corners her a few nights later at the apartment, and Maggie knows that she knows, because Maggie finds it difficult to look at her. The last thing she’d ever want to do is disappoint Alex by revealing she has doubts. No doubts about Alex, of course, but her own ability to be a good wife.

(Even the word ‘wife’ makes her sweat.)

If Maggie’s being honest, she’s terrified. She knows she shouldn’t be, because the world almost ended and _life is too short_. She knows that. Hell, she’s even said it to Alex. Compared to the world ending, this should be a piece of cake. Except, she’s been trained to handle dangerous situations, and she’s been in many of them over the years. Nobody has trained her for marrying Alex Danvers. There’s no protocol for her to follow. All she can do is hope she gets it right.

Maggie sits down on the couch, and she feels the emotions welling up inside of her, but she still has trouble saying how she feels out loud. It’s something she’s had to learn from scratch with Alex.

Alex gives her a knowing look, and Maggie knows immediately that she’s been found out. “Is this about me asking you to marry me?”

Maggie sighs, pausing before she answers. “I’m happy. I am.” Truly. She couldn’t imagine anything better than being married to Alex. The only problem is she _knows_ she should be over-the-moon levels of excited, but instead she’s filled with dread. She hates that the positivity is draining away, but what she hates even more, is that she knows exactly _why_.

Alex smiles. “I know you are. You don’t have to convince me, Maggie.”

“I just…” Maggie lets out a sigh, her head coming to rest in her hands. She doesn’t want to make this all about her. It’s about _them_ now. Both of them. Together. But she knows if she doesn’t speak her mind, then this relationship will be doomed to fail like the rest of them. “I’m just scared, Alex.”

Alex’s reaction is immediate. Shuffling closer to her on the couch, she places a hand on her back. The warmth immediately spreads throughout Maggie’s body. “Talk to me.” Maggie’s never heard anything so soft, yet so firm. Protective. Like Alex won’t give up on her even if it kills her.

Maggie’s uncomfortable with the situation. She knew that Alex would ask her about it as soon as she opened her mouth, but like every other time she’s opened up, getting into it is a lot harder than she thought.

“Things with Emily… they were serious. I mean, you can guess after five years, they would be. We’d moved in together… and we both knew that marriage could be on the cards. Except I was always busy with work and we just… weren’t clicking anymore. Not the way we used to.” It feels strange, talking about another woman with Alex. Since meeting Alex, she’s forgotten there are other women on the planet. “We were fighting a lot and I was so scared that she was going to walk out on me, so I just…” Running a hand through her hair, she lets out a sigh.

“You sabotaged it.” Alex guesses with a slow nod. “You made the decision so that she didn’t have the power to hurt you.”

“She loved me, and I ruined her, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. And then I _lied_ to you about it. I’d never forgive myself if that happened to you.” Because Alex is the most important person to ever enter Maggie’s life. It would be twice as bad hurting her. She would happily take herself out of the equation if it meant not hurting her. Not that she ever plans on cheating, but there are a million different ways to hurt someone.

“Listen, Maggie… I know it was spur of the moment, and it was probably bad to spring it on you the way I did… but I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it.” Alex reaches over, her fingers hovering over Maggie’s cheek. “I want all of you. The good and the bad. You’re the one who taught me that communication is important, and as long as I always know how you’re feeling, then I don’t see how anything can stop us.”

The way Alex says it makes it sound true. Much more sincere than any of her past girlfriends. There’s no underlying pity or threatening tone. She’s soothing, and although it doesn’t completely ease her anxiety, it’s a good start.

“I’m not going anywhere. And I know words aren’t enough to reassure you, but I’m going to show you every single day.”

Maggie can’t help but chuckle, because Alex is too good. Something she never felt she deserved. Someone who should’ve moved on long ago. “You shouldn’t have to prove anything.”

“But I will.” Alex’s tone is final. “I said I want you, Maggie. Always. You make me so happy. That’s all there is to it.”

Maggie finally turns to look at Alex, and her heart can’t help but feel full. _This_ is the woman who wants to marry her. Despite all her mistakes and flaws and the fact that she could freak out at any moment. Alex still wants to spend the rest of her life with her, and it’s not something she can easily wrap her head around.

“So…” Alex starts, a cheesy smile covering her face. “Marry me?”

Maggie tries not to smile, but fails. “You don’t have to ask again.”

Alex leans in closer, her lips brushing Maggie’s. “Good.” Just one syllable is enough to send goosebumps up and down Maggie’s spine.

“I just want you to be sure.” Really sure. Maggie doesn’t know how much heartbreak she can take, especially not from Alex. Maggie’s heart has been in Alex’s hands for months now, and it’s becoming more and more exposed by the day.

A quiet laugh reverberates from Alex’s throat. “Trust me. There’s nobody else I could possibly want. You’re safe with me.”

Maggie’s smile only grows, nudging Alex’s nose with her own. If she knows one thing, it’s that she’s never going to love anyone more than she loves Alex. Maybe that’s all she needs to carry her through this. She finally acknowledges her words with a nod. “Thank you… for letting me talk.” When it comes to these big decisions and commitments, she needs it more than she realises. It’s not like her to just jump into things without considering them, and this territory with Alex is new. For once, it’s something she’s never actually experienced before in a relationship. “Even when it’s hard for me to do.”

“Always.” Alex’s words are even softer than before as she finally closes the gap between them, the touch on her cheek feather-light.

The kiss is a promise, more than anything else, and it’s one that Maggie is willing to accept it with open arms.

\------

Maggie would like to think she’s above average when it comes to grand gestures.

Valentine’s Day with Alex comes to mind. Maggie seems to do her best when she’s trying to make up for something. She figures that grand gestures can still be grand without being big. Those are her favourite kinds. People don't need fireworks or a skywriter, just something with feeling. Something you know has had emotion put into it.

Maggie just hopes Alex feels the same way she does.

She’s nervous, and truthfully, she doesn’t know why. Alex has already proposed, she’s already said yes. At the same time though, Maggie feels like the ball is in her court. She has reservations, and she feels the need to put a seal on her commitment once and for all. There’s no room for her to flake out. Not when she loves Alex the way she does. Not when, for the first time in a long time, she can actually see a version of the future where she’s _happy_.

She gets home earlier than Alex and waits. At this point, she’s already moved all of her stuff into Alex’s apartment. The moving in was the easiest part of the proposal. It’s not like Maggie slept in her own bed much anymore since they started dating. Still, it’s strange to refer to it as _their_ apartment. Maggie barely even remembers the last time she shared something like this with someone.

It’s what she’s thinking about when Alex walks through the door. The sound makes Maggie jump, and Alex gives her a glance before wandering over to drop her bag on the kitchen counter.

Maggie takes a deep breath as she watches her. “Can you, uh… come sit down for a second?”

Alex narrows her eyes, giving Maggie a look as she moves to sit down next to her. “What’s this about?”

“It’s about us... getting married.”

Alex’s face falls immediately, and Maggie can practically see the panicked thoughts running through her mind. “You changed your mind.”

Maggie shakes her head quickly. “No. That’s not it.” Reaching into her pocket, Maggie gives Alex one last look before pulling the ring out and presenting it to her.

Alex’s lips part and her eyes widen. “Maggie…” She sounds almost breathless as she speaks. Despite the fact that the proposal itself has been done, it’s still a moment for them. They both know it’s more than just a ring or a ‘yes’ to something Alex has already asked.

“When we first started dating… I wasn’t sure it would last. I thought you would leave me and find someone else. Not because you were just out of the closet, but because that’s what everyone else had done.” Maggie laughs, as an attempt to stop herself from becoming emotional. “And then Valentine’s Day happened, and I told you something about myself that I don’t tell other people. Then I realised that I’d loved you all that time, and that you were slowly making me into a better person. Someone I wasn’t when I was dating Emily. You were healing me and I was growing.”

Alex smiles gently, her gaze moving back and forth between the ring to Maggie’s eyes. Her eyes are glossy and bright, but she doesn’t interrupt.

“I still get scared, and sometimes I don’t think I’m the person you deserve. But then… you walk into a room like you just did and suddenly, it’s gone. Any bad thing I’m feeling is gone because you make me so happy, Alex. And now I’m here, doing _this_ , and I realise I have become someone new because of you. Someone better. Someone who doesn’t want to run away.”

Alex shakes her head, her lower lip disappearing between her teeth. “I always knew you were that person, Maggie. You just needed someone to lift you up.”

“Well, you did.” Maggie chuckles, the nerves evident in her voice. She can feel her own eyes filling up with tears, but she doesn’t try to get rid of them. She doesn’t need to. “And I love you. For a million different reasons, but they’re all true.”

The first tear falls from Alex’s eyes, and she laughs at it. Reaching up, she places a hand on Maggie’s cheek. “I love you too.”

Maggie smiles, looking back down at the ring. “And I know I’ve said yes, and you asked me, but you deserve this. You deserve to know as much as I do that this is real, and I’m not going anywhere either.”

Alex doesn’t say anything, her smile only growing as she holds her hand out for Maggie. Maggie wastes no time slipping the ring on her finger. Alex looks down for a brief moment, admiring it before looking back up at Maggie.

It’s only a moment of eye contact before Alex is lifting herself off the couch and settling herself in Maggie’s lap. “It’s beautiful,” Alex murmurs, her forehead resting against Maggie’s. “Thank you.”

“I couldn’t let you have all the firsts, Danvers.”

Alex laughs again, her eyes filled with adoration. “I think I can get go of this one.”

When Maggie kisses her, she realises that this is her _fiancee_ that she’s holding in her arms. The most important person in her life. There’s nothing she wouldn’t do for her, and she’s something to fight for, regardless of her own fears.

From then on, Maggie feels the ring against her skin whenever Alex touches her, and suddenly it makes every past experience completely worth it.


End file.
